The world is flat

Everything has gone flat today after yesterdays obamarama and feelings of elation. I would go as far as saying that I'm feeling pretty depressed. It's easy to have peaks of high mood but for me these peaks are invariably followed by caverness troughs.

Things are looking pretty grim when It comes to the economy in Britain right now, the news of more redundancies and company closures casts an ever darker shaddow over us all. it is getting to the point where in pretty much any british town high street there will be at least one name that's gone under or is known to be In trouble.

So really there is no surprise that I'm feeling down but as most people know i've suffered from clinical depression for all of my adult life and I'm already medicated up to the eye balls so blips like this come along every few months and typically around periods when I'm very busy with work and singing. Andy recons he can predict when I'm going to get down now. He says it always seems to hit me a couple of days after a night when i've been drinking or several days after bad news or some sort of trauma. I wish he'd bloody warn me as they always blind side me. this afternoon at around 3 I just hit the proverbial wall hehehe. my mind just switched off and I just wanted to come home and crawl back in to bed... I know that if I didn't have a job or a husband to think about I'd probably not get out of bed. it's a frightening thought but one I'm convinced of. I need the distraction of everyday life responsibilities to keep me functioning.

I know all this will pass in a few days but right now I'm going to go to bed early, turn the lights out and wallow in it, as I know I'll have to get up and fight through another day tomorrow and the day after. I've got evening opera rehearsals on top of the day job to go to, therefore music to learn and concerts looming so I'll soon have no time for depressive introspection so I'd better get on with it while I can hehehe.

night all x